As women and mothers, we aspire for improvements in gender equality not only for us, but also for the next generation. And just as we role model for more junior women in the workplace, we also need to role model for our daughters.
For many girls, participation in sports teams is a primary place where they see authority enacted. However, as the coach of my own daughter鈥檚 soccer team, I have noticed mothers are much less likely to coach than fathers. This seems to be a lost opportunity鈥攁nd it鈥檚 one that may have roots in what women experience at work.
Why Women Don鈥檛 Volunteer to Coach听
I have met many smart, capable moms鈥攎oms who hold senior managerial and professional roles鈥攚ho are nervous to coach their elementary-aged daughter鈥檚 sports teams. While there are many factors at play in why in youth sports鈥攔anging from to 鈥擨 want to focus on one area that stands out to me based on my research: the ways high-achieving women have been discouraged from taking on leadership roles in their organizations.
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Extensive research shows that听. One prominent reason for this is that most people simply do not associate women with more agentic and assertive activities, including holding roles of formal authority like a manager. Consider a famous piece of research by Gettysburg College professor emeritus Virginia E. Schein and coauthors pointedly entitled 鈥溾�� While this research was published decades ago, recent research finds that听.
To protect themselves against backlash, many women managers adjust their actions and adapt styles of management that are indirect rather than direct. These approaches to management may be intentionally taken up by women, or taken up more subconsciously as . Research by Harvard Business School Professor Alexandra C. Feldberg, for instance, documents how , but rather, spend time cultivating relationships with employees. finds the same thing: women managers do not simply tell subordinates what to do, but rather work hard to build relationships with them, out of concern that otherwise their authority might be ignored or disrespected.
Given this evidence, it is unsurprising that women might be hesitant to take on roles that entail being directly assertive, both within and outside of the workplace. If women believe (whether consciously or not) that they鈥檒l be punished for taking on an authoritative position, why would they raise their hand to do so鈥攅ven if that role involves coaching their child鈥檚 sports team? In other words, what I was witnessing on the soccer field seemed to be a manifestation of what I had seen among the professional managers I studied. Women were again concerned about being direct.
Assistant professor of management and organization Vanessa Conzon.
Moms Stepping Up
The problem is that when women do not step into leadership positions such as coach, we inadvertently reinforce expectations that it is men, not women, who should hold leadership positions. Our daughters continue to see men in positions of power, just like how at school, compared to the abundance of women teachers. This is despite evidence that and benefit from having women role models because, for instance, they can teach them how to overcome gender barriers. When they are older, will they feel confident speaking up and challenging others directly鈥攚hether that be as a new manager or budding CEO鈥攚hen they have not seen many women do so?
Given what I knew about the research, I was eager to coach my daughter鈥檚 soccer team (that, and I got to choose the timing and location of practices鈥攏o cross-town driving at rush hour for me!). And when I sent an email to the team asking for a volunteer coach to help me out, there were several鈥攂ut they were all men.
When I pivoted my approach to sharing why we needed more moms involved, using the research I鈥檝e outlined in this article, I finally began to receive enthusiastic responses from women. The moms got it. In coaching our daughters, we were breaking down the myth of separate worlds, : the idea that work and family lives are separate. The role modeling we engage in with our personal lives shapes the outcomes of our children. Now I co-coach with two women (and one amazing dad).
Coaching also provides an opportunity for women to role model for girls the forms of management they engage in every day, whether this be a more direct approach, a more relational style, or a blend of both. In my case, I have found myself in the course of many practices sitting on the ground with girls when we talk at the beginning of practice (relational) while later giving more direct instructions when corralling fifteen kindergarten and grade one girls to take turns shooting on net (direct). This is also an opportunity to practice management鈥攁lbeit in an entirely different, and often also more difficult, setting! Indeed, the act of speaking up and volunteering to coach鈥攚hether one does that more directly or indirectly鈥攊s in itself an opportunity to enact management creatively.
The Takeaway
My aim in encouraging moms to coach is not to put more work on the shoulders of moms ; dads, you can step-up too and take on other elements of household work (the dishes, driving to activities, packing lunches鈥� the list is endless as parents know). And my point is also not that fathers should be involved less with their daughters鈥� sports teams, but rather, that women should also (to use an apt metaphor) step up to the plate.
So, Moms, volunteer to coach your daughters鈥� sports teams. Dads, support moms so they have the bandwidth to do so. And let us all recognize that with intentionality and awareness we can help create a more gender equal world.